| Halo 2 |
[Apr. 16th, 2005|09:12 pm] |
Helicopters and flaming ninjas eh??
"Halo 2 is a lot like Halo 1, only it's Halo 1 on fire, going 130 miles per hour through a hospital zone, being chased by helicopters and ninjas ... And, the ninjas are all on fire, too." |
|
|
| Bored again |
[Apr. 12th, 2005|07:33 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  bouncy | ] |
I'm listening to music, when my life suddenly ended and began again.
Puzzle that one out, and post your meaning. I'll reveal all when people have guessed as to its meaning... |
|
|
| If Hackers Ruled the World.... |
[Apr. 12th, 2005|07:29 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  Bored | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | "Take Me Home" by Iron Maiden (Saviour)??? | ] |
Yes, I know I'm a nerd, and yes, you don't have to tell me about it.
And just becuase I know youre all dicks! youre gonna post it anyways,
so blah in advance.
This is l33t. Hacker language. I've learned it mostly, but Ive been
warned about posting in other languages. So yeah, here's your opening
test
Basically, If you cant read this, you suxors (suck) noob! lol!
If you cant read this, you do suck, and you shouldnt be looking at the
others because im far too lazy to translate. So yeah, this is the
update everyone's been waiting for.
Post thought. Im bored.
 |
|
|
| Gansta rap insurance policy |
[Mar. 21st, 2005|07:49 am] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | For those about to rock... ACDC | ] |
Another gem, not sure of the origin. It seems a little rough for SNL, could be MTV or MAD Tv, but who cares.
Hi, I'm the hellacious DR Dazzle. And if you like me, an established rap artist with the head of your record company currently doing hard time, you could be der 'fore this commercial is over. Thats why der's some questions you gots to ask youself. Like, whats gonna happen to my homies when I get smoked? Whose gonna take care of my biatches? Well, now you can get youself some peace of mind, with the Gansta Rap life Insurance policy for Helping Hand insurance. Helping hand pays in cases of drive-bys, assassinations, car bombins and home invasions. And they gonna take care of my kids when I'm gone. Even the ones that I dont know about. So my skeezers and my crew will have a secure future, such as it is... Hey, I know what you thinking. What about those playah hating son-of-a-bitches that took me out? Are they gonna get got? Hell yeah! Cause Helping hand has a special pay-back riot, that insures that the punk ass bitches who take you out, will get theres...
Word.... Thats right gee.
HELPING HAND! Baaaaam! |
|
|
| U of Waterloo |
[Mar. 2nd, 2005|05:45 pm] |
Anyways, I went to the University of Waterloo today for Shadow day. Some great quotes at university.
"anyway, Ive graded your midterms and the class average was 60.5%. This isn't good enough, so evidently the test was too hard. Therefore all your marks will be increased by 5%."
"Why dont you raise everyone's marks by 10%?"
"Because then someone will have over 100%"
(everyone turns to the guy beside me and glares)
"Hey! What's wrong with over 100%?"
"Yo, stop playing games"
"We're not playing games, we're looking at porn."
"Not without me! (peers at screen closely) Aw.... Thats not porn....." (walks away)
"This teacher never uses any unnecessary words, like {is}, {at}, and so on."
(writing on board)"Nodal analysis study nodes usage current voltage KCL KCL"
(Me to christian) "He wasn't kidding. It's worse than my computer programming notes."
"Three reasons why I wouldn't want to go here:
There are too many asians in this place."
"Only place with more asians in the shipping docks"
"There are too many nerds here. Spend 4 years here and I'll come out a nerd."
(awkward pause)
"Also there are hardly any girls. And none of them are hot. And they're all taken. *pouts*" |
|
|
| Well |
[Feb. 8th, 2005|06:29 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | LMAO!! | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | What is Love? by Hadaway | ] |
This livejournal thing is supposed to be daily or something? Says who? I haven't updated since bvefor exams and I'm proud of it. No-one cares anyways. No-one wants to hear what you say unless you actually want to say something.
Anyways, Saturday Night Live is the best show ever invented. The best thing since sliced bread. Absolutely orgasmic!! Anyhoo
For an exerpt. Chris Rock in "How not to get your ass kicked by the cops"
Have you ever been face to face with a cop and wondered, "Is he about to kick my ass?" Well wonder no more. With these easy tips you'll be fine. First, 'Obey the Law'. Laws were made for a reason. Think of them as shits. You've heard people say, "aw, I wouldn't do that shit if I was you." Well here are some of that shit: carjacking, armed robbery, arson, selling drugs, buying drugs, shooting, stabbing. You know, you probably won't get your ass kicked if you just 'Use common sense.' If you jump a subway turnstile, you might just get off with a warning from the police. But if you jump a subway turnstile carrying a loaded gun and smoking a joint? Then maybe you need your ass kicking.
When you see flashing police lights in your mirror, 'Stop immediately.' Everybody knows, if the police have to come get you, they're bringing an ass kickin with them. Here's a no brainer. If you're playing loud rap music, 'Turn that shit off.' When you get pulled over by the police, it's just ignance. When an officer approaches your car, 'Be polite.' And stay in the car with your hands on the wheel. Unless you want your ass kicked.
Wanna give a friend a ride? Not so fast. Your friend, might just be crazy. Before you let your friend in the car, here's a few simple questions to ask your friend. Do you have a gun? Do you have drugs? Do you have any warrents on you? And in case you do get pulled over by the cops, remind your friend to do this one thing. 'Shut the Fuck up!'
If you have to give a friend a ride, 'Get a white friend.' A whiite friend can be the difference between a ticket, and a royal ass whupping.
Here's a tip you should never forget. IF your woman is mad at you, leave her at home, cause a mad woman will say anything. [ Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<he's>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] This livejournal thing is supposed to be daily or something? Says who? I haven't updated since bvefor exams and I'm proud of it. No-one cares anyways. No-one wants to hear what you say unless you actually want to say something.
Anyways, Saturday Night Live is the best show ever invented. The best thing since sliced bread. Absolutely orgasmic!! Anyhoo
For an exerpt. Chris Rock in "How not to get your ass kicked by the cops"
Have you ever been face to face with a cop and wondered, "Is he about to kick my ass?" Well wonder no more. With these easy tips you'll be fine. First, 'Obey the Law'. Laws were made for a reason. Think of them as shits. You've heard people say, "aw, I wouldn't do that shit if I was you." Well here are some of that shit: carjacking, armed robbery, arson, selling drugs, buying drugs, shooting, stabbing. You know, you probably won't get your ass kicked if you just 'Use common sense.' If you jump a subway turnstile, you might just get off with a warning from the police. But if you jump a subway turnstile carrying a loaded gun and smoking a joint? Then maybe you need your ass kicking. <Dude getting ass kicked>
When you see flashing police lights in your mirror, 'Stop immediately.' Everybody knows, if the police have to come get you, they're bringing an ass kickin with them. <Dude getting run down and beaten> Here's a no brainer. If you're playing loud rap music, 'Turn that shit off.' When you get pulled over by the police, it's just ignance. When an officer approaches your car, 'Be polite.' And stay in the car with your hands on the wheel. Unless you want your ass kicked. <Dude getting ass kicked>
Wanna give a friend a ride? Not so fast. Your friend, might just be crazy. Before you let your friend in the car, here's a few simple questions to ask your friend. Do you have a gun? Do you have drugs? Do you have any warrents on you? And in case you do get pulled over by the cops, remind your friend to do this one thing. 'Shut the Fuck up!' <Dude and crazy friend getting asses kicked>
If you have to give a friend a ride, 'Get a white friend.' A whiite friend can be the difference between a ticket, and a royal ass whupping.
Here's a tip you should never forget. IF your woman is mad at you, leave her at home, cause a mad woman will say anything. <He's got weed, he's got weed!!> If your woman is mad at you, there's nothing she'd like to see more than you getting your ass kicked.
Now lets review.
Obey the law, use common sense, stop immediately, turn that shit off, be polite, shut the fuck up, get a white friend, and last but not least, dont go riding with no crazy woman.
If you follow these simple pointers, you probably wont get your ass kicked, by the police. Thank you.
See?? Best shit ever. Jim Carey making fun of Vanilla Ice, Will Farrell parodying Blue Oyster Cult a la cowbell, (download Don't fear the reaper, greatest song ever, listen for cowbell) Will Farrell and Sean Connery on Celebrity Jeopardy (suck it Trebek....Suck it long.... and suck it hard)(BUCK FUTTER!!!)
Man, good times. |
|
|
| Static! |
[Jan. 11th, 2005|07:07 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | hyper | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Storm Eagle (Megaman music) [sort of a techno pokemon thing] | ] |
You're so ill, and your moves are so electric and totally shockin', we're callin' you
STATIC!!
Boo-yah! Terence will prolly be the only one who has any clue wth I'm talkin' 'bout so I'll bring the rest of you whities up ta speed, so ta speak.
NBA Street Vol 2 is a black boy's b-ballah game that is te rox0rs. You get points for making the othah boyz look fooooolish and it makes ya feel all warm and toatsy inside if ya go that way. Anyways, you get rep points for winning games and looking good, and more ballahs will hook up wit' tu if you got a high rep level. Anyways, once you get a certain rep level, you're populah enouf to be christens wit' ya very own moniker baby. Oh yeah! It all depends on how you got where you got, whether by tricking the shit out of those white boys standin' in your way to da top, or slamming in their faces, or even knockin them to the concrete as you rip their rock. Earlier I was Cosmic for my out-o-this-world freestylin' and Tpop was Armageddon for bringing the pain! Then my mem card got wiped so I started over, which sort of sux0rs. Oh well.
STATIC!!! You gotta say his name!
Good ole Dj Bobbito Garcia, the homeboy who MC's alla your b-ball games with some south side flair if I do say so myself. DJ Cucumber Slice!
Anyways, my life officially sux. If this is the highlight of my day, then I need a life. For anyone suffering the same problem, lives are $1.50 on E-Bay for a limited time. Thank you, that will be all. |
|
|
| Whoops |
[Jan. 10th, 2005|07:29 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | Wheeee! | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Final Countdown by Europe | ] |
Man, I way laughing at my quiz results so I forgot to really put anything else in the entry. Oh well. I can spam up Livejournal's server with another random rant/entry from the Tim files. I'm listening to Final Countdown by Europe, which I always thought was called Final Countdown to Tipoff because NBC or something uses it as their themne song for basketball games and some NBA arenas have adopted it as the home team's entry music. OIh well. Great song. Also featured prominently in "How to kill a Mockingbird" i might add. Although completely random and not for those with anything else at all to do, I would recommend it to anyone reading this entry as you really don't have anything better to do. Anyways. Life sucks. My parents are making me skip this youth retreat at a summer camp the weekend before exams because of my study habits. I'm like "What study habits?" But that really didn't work. So that really sux0rs. I'm allowed to go, but I have to take my study material with me for any free time. I figure it's just extra baggage but if that's the way its gotta be. *slits wrists*
Anyhoo, I was tutoring my little grade 4 kid today. I realized how violent, angry and generally anarchist little kids are these dayts. I was talking to him about video games, knowing me, and this kid who must only be 9 or 10 years old tells me the movies and video games he's played recently. Including Doom 3, Farcry, Halo 2, Resident Evil, and some other stuff. I'm like, whoa. This kid is crazy. Go desensitivity!! We wenton the computers in his school's lab because he was doen his homework and I was too lazy to check, (the kid loves me for exactly this reason), and he starts looking at the YTV website. I'm like cool. Then he go to this robo site linked from YTV with this lobby wherre you make a battle bot and fight. However, this has a full chat system. We all know those idiots who have nothing better to do but swear 24/7 in chat rooms onlline and this one was no exception. But did this fase my kid at all? No!!! He's like, wow, that guy's a real *censored*. I'm like.... :| oh well. He started beating people up with a battle bot I made him with a pickaxe, absolutely no armour and caterpillar treads. I felt happy. But then he trashed it by falling off a buidling . And he had no money to repair. So i felt bad aagina. I was soo tired and I really didn't care.
Point is kids these days are desensitized to swearing, violence, horror, sex, drugs, and other such yummilicious stuff like such. Oh well. Go American Dream! |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jan. 10th, 2005|07:20 pm] |
You know you've got problems when... |
|
|
| Wow, people have very pitiful lives |
[Jan. 3rd, 2005|07:02 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  Crazy!! | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | The Game by Motorhead | ] |
I was logging on ready to update when I noticed something that changed my entire outlook on life!
"Baaaaah," says Frank.
This is Frank. Frank is the LiveJournal.com mascot. He helps us with random programming when we get behind, and occasionally he answers tech support requests. Frank's really quite versatile.... he even does the yardwork sometimes. When the lawn gets overgrown we go, "Hey Frank! It's lunch time.... go eat the lawn!". It's really a win-win situation.
That was totally enlightening. I'm thinking of starting a cult of some sort just to capitalize on it. I need a secretary (read "call girl"), treasurer (person to take other people's money and give to me), and various followers. If you would like to join, the cost will be your money, your possessions and your eternal soul. If lacking any of the above, sorry, try again later. For all of you calling in, we know you are on hold. Please continue to hold. A representative will be with you shortly.
In other news I have no other news. I'm working madly to try and finish two culminating projects literally before the end of this week and next. Which te sux0rs. Oh Billy! Like A Fox! In Bed! Ohhhhh. Dont mind me. Overtired and caffinated will do that to you.
Peace. |
|
|
| A Day Late and a Dollar Short |
[Jan. 2nd, 2005|12:39 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  Bah humbug | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Make Yourself by Incubus | ] |
Bah, Happy New Year's after one day. It's really a let down the day after New Years. You always expect something to happen on New Years, after all, it is 2005. But what happened! Nothing! The most amazing thing in the news is the tsunami, that's not exciting, that's depressing and horrible. We should have a man on Mars, or land a satellite on Venus, or something exciting. We need some new invention or idea to define each year. This is really not happening like it used to. The progression of technology over the last 100 years is phenomenal. Over 100 years we've gone from totally Earthbound walking people, to space exploration! 100 years! People weren't even flying for the first 4 billion or so years, and now we're in space. But progress, to me, is slowing down. We have 6 billion people on the Earth, and in 2020 we'll have 12 billion. This could be a problem. Uhg, this is a just a rant. Don't pay too much attention
Im really just trying to say that the New years is a let down. As high school students we get to look forward to exams, Rats and essay assignments. All the optimism of the new year is buried under the massive piles of homework. New years? Bah, new headaches. |
|
|
| Return of the Thing |
[Dec. 31st, 2004|05:35 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | Stupid van engine | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Killer Queen by Queen | ] |
Uhg, and once again for you in the cheap seats UHG!!!!! Anyways, just got back from my cottage in Terra Nova, 20 minutes south of Collingwood, near Creemore if you every feel the need to look it up. Anyways there was about a foot of snow on the ground which was great. Until last night when it got unbearlingly poofingly warm and melted it all. That and it was raining. Blah. Anyways our driveway was Slush mountain with a foot of slushiess everywhere which te sux0rs to the max. After 20 minutes of driving we got out of our driveway. Then after another 20 minutes our van broke. A belt from the engine split in half, got flung out of the engine and broke something else. Anyways we phoned around calling towtrucks, friends, taxis, then our cellphone ran out and we had to call this automated machine to put more minutes into it. Now this machine wasnt a touchtone machine. It responded to voice commands. Needless to say, on a busy highway with poor cellphone reception this is a serious pain in the collective ass of everyone within the county/earshot. After the towtruck came, we found it had room for 2 passengers. We have 4 ppl in our family. Do the math. We phoned a taxi and weent into the most derelict restaurant you could imagine. It was run by two old German ppl who looked like they had arrived stright from the concentration camps. They knew little to no english and kept trying to intiate conversations in different languages. This was slightly annoying. Im currently going out to an all-nighter thingy at my church with movies, karaoke, hardcore gaming and stufff like that . Ill up date the rest of my trilogical story later
Dont you love made up words?!? |
|
|
| Live Journal phhf who needs one |
[Dec. 28th, 2004|06:46 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | Quixotic, Wow, big word | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Eat It by Weird Al Yankovic | ] |
Curse you power of logical reasoning! After fighting a war against the livejournal for much of my life, I have finally given in. Of course Terence had nothing to do with this... :@ grrr Oh well. Life goes on, except for that little family of chipmunks that got run over and salted by the Town snowplows. In Oakville we have more snowplows than the entire city of Toronto. Its because we're richer. And we can't have all our rich people down by the lake stuck in snow 1 second more than they have to be. Besides, in Oakville we need to drive everywhere. It would be a tragedy if a family's 10 or 20 cars went to waste in the driveway because there was too much snow for the butlers to drive them around looking all fancy-pantsy. Just for the record I really dont know how many plows we have in Oakville but knowing our town it could happen.
My day.... Hmmmmm. That's really what a journal is for right? Telling everyone exactly what happened in my life today. But WHY?!?! WHO CARES!!!!??? No-one wants to know about my supposed problems in the place with the thing with the person and stuff like that. That's not te r0x0rs by any stretch of your pitiful imagination.
This is only a taste of the many wonderful things you will experience by reading Tim's journal on a regualr basis. For more laughs read my bio in my profile.
"This too shall pass"
PS Getting my G1 soon!!
"If you don't like my driving, get off the sidewalk!" |
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
avgasian's journal